We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
