I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
