His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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