just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
