butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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