Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
