Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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