I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
