I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
