i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
