I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
