You're completely useless in the revolution.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize