i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
