So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
