some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
