I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
