have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
