my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
