i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Fuck appropriateness.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
