Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
