Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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