Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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