So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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