So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
