Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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