Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
