OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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