we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
