I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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