Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize