what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
