i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
