What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do vagina's smell?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
