So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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