whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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