If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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