Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
