my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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