He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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