somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
