Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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