hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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