just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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