her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
