I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Be still, my beating vagina.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
