I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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