East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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