So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
