i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize