3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
