Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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