Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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