he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
