You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
