fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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