Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize