So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
