I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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