last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I smell stomach acid.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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