I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
