i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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