I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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