so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
