there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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