Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
