Already got asked if we're dating
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
