I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm both gender and math confused
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
