I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
