Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
