Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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