Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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