ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
